Plants VS Cunts

Sigmund Freud once said, “Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.” Well, I’m sure Plantsvscunts.com would have something to say about that! The site introduces itself as ‘’100% vegan porn,’’ and the bulk of its content centers around, you guessed it, plants versus women’s cunts! Plantsvscunts.com is part of the Romero Multimedia Group, which is also behind other imaginative porn studios like Hentaied, Parasited, and Defeated.

It’s an award-winning studio that has received numerous nominations at the annual Xbiz and AVN awards shows and was the winner of the Best Fetish Porn Site award at the 2023 Xbix event. The content offered by the site is said to be in ‘’stunning quality’’ and ranges from vine bondage and plant bukkake to plant vore content and plant tentacle porn. However, it’s not free. To watch the site’s content in full, you need to sign up for a membership. At the time of writing, the site had a 50% off offer with a month’s membership costing around $15 a month rather than the usual $30.

What’s the Vegan Plant Porn like on Plantsvscunts.com?

But whether you manage to catch the special offer or need to pay full price, I want to ensure you’re getting as much bang for your buck as possible beforehand. So, allow me to take you on a tour of the site’s vegan porn highlights to see if it’s the kind of smut worth paying for!

The Ebony Lab Assistant Meets her Test Subjects - When this ebony lab assistant, played by Barbie Rous, landed her new job, she was left wondering why the pay was so high. While alone on her first night shift, she quickly discovered why. When one of the plants spits a mysterious liquid in her face, she awakes an hour later naked and strapped to a test table by its vines. Then, she has her wet holes invaded by these breeding plants until her ebony pussy is oozing cum.

The final scene of the phallus-shaped plant giving her a throatpie that she coughs out is particularly epic! If You Go Down to the Woods Today… - Man, this hot blonde slut (Kelly Collins) was warned about wandering through the dark forest at night, but she didn’t listen. Suddenly, she is accosted by the relentless vines of the trees around her and thrown to the ground before her clothes are torn off. She is promptly spit-roasted by the shrubbery and filled with plant cum from both ends. There’s an epic scene at the end where fat doses of cum ooze out of her mouth and pussy at the same time, and the contrast of the smeared soil on her naked skin looks divine!

Impregnated in the Greenhouse - When staying at someone else’s house, Jia Lissa was warned to stay out of the greenhouse, but she let curiosity get the better of her. Pretty soon, she realizes that the warnings were valid. The plants come to life, pin her down, and start exploring her holes to such an extent that her belly extends in a pregnant-like way. You should have stayed out of the fuckin’ greenhouse, Jia! Strangely enough, she finds herself wandering back into the hypersexualized corner of the garden time and time again!

The Design of the Site

When it comes to the design of Plantsvscunts.com, the site uses a premium porn site theme that they've customized to fit the style of the content within. The site hits the ground running with a hero video section playing a reel of content highlights from across the site, and this is decorated with the logo, main menu, and two buttons that let you sign up for an account or log into one if you’re already a member. The purple and green logo is done in a cartoon-style way and doesn’t fit the dark and horror-like theme of the site. Still, it looks stylish, at least.

The main menu is short and only consists of two links, one taking you to all videos on the site and another dropdown menu that showcases the other premium porn studios that the minds behind Plantsvscunts.com have worked on in the past. Some centralized text then spells out the site’s name and brands the site as ‘’100% vegan porn’’ before introducing you to a collage of the latest videos to be added to Plantsvscunts.com. When you hover over them, a short preview roll plays that gives you the gist of what to expect within each.

Further down the homepage of Plantsvscunts.com is a selection of studios that the producers of Plantsvscunts.com are behind. These range from alien parasite porn and real-life tentacle porn inspired by Hentai to IRL Futanari smut and sex fight videos. Below is a selection of text boxes introducing you to what Plantsvscunts.com is all about and what it offers paying members.

What I Like Most About it

As a man who has seen practically every form of smut imaginable, I’m a sucker for variety. These days, it’s hard to come up with porn themes that make the mark of being legitimately unique, but Plantsvscunts.com is definitely one of them. I mean, shit, I’m sitting here and eyeing up my houseplants with an uneasy suspicion right now! Just like the other porn studios that the minds behind Plantsvscunts.com have created, the quality of the content on Plantsvscunts.com is beautiful. It’s well-shot and in extremely high definition, so you don’t miss out on any filthy details.

From the gallons of plant sperm to the smears of soil on the women’s naked skin, it all comes together to present a divine premium porn experience. The overall design of Plantsvscunts.com is well-made, too. The minds behind this studio know what it takes to create a sleek-looking premium porn site, and this has resulted in a theme that isn’t overwhelming, cuts through the bullshit, and gives you a solid landing page that can help you decide whether this is a porn site for you or not within the space of a few scrolls and clicks. However, it’s not without flaws, as it’s a little on the dark side, which brings me to the next section.

What I Don’t Like

The first negative thing that stood out to me about Plantsvscunts.com was that the videos on the site lacked imaginative titles. Instead, they were all entitled Plants Vs. Cunts Vol. 1, 2, 3, etc., rather than porn titles covering the kind of XXX themes and storylines found within each clip.

Another niggling issue on the site was the overwhelming choice of dark color schemes. All the scenes are shot in dim lighting, which might not fit everyone’s tastes. On top of this, the overall theme is very dark. I found it tiring on the eye when exploring it for more than an hour.

Suggestions I Have for Plantsvscunts.com

I’d suggest that Plantsvscunts.com develop more engaging titles for their videos that reference the kind of content people can expect. For example, rather than ‘’Plants Vs. Cunts Vol. 7’’ you could use something like ‘’Nosey Urban Explorer Gets More Than She Bargains For When Exploring the Ominous Greenhouse at an Abandoned Mansion.’’

Also, while I get that the theme of the content on Plantsvscunts.com is overwhelmingly dark and horror-like, some more diversity in the site’s color schemes wouldn't go amiss. The site is so damn dark that it becomes overwhelming. A balanced color structure across both the site’s design and the porn within it would allow the site and its content to appeal to a broader range of tastes.

Conclusion

Anna Raver once told people, “Don't wear perfume in the garden unless you want to be pollinated by bees.” Well, the women in Plantsvscunts.com certainly got their shit pollinated, but it wasn’t by bees! Overall, I was pretty damn impressed by Plantsvscunts.com and the content within. It’s still a new studio, so the content selection isn’t huge, but it is still growing.

Whether you’re looking for legit vegan porn or are a horticulturist with a horny side that’s sharper than the thorns in your rose bush, this is a site worth checking out!