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MySexGames
Have you ever been playing Crash Bandicoot and wondered what a bandicoot pussy looks like? Have you ever watched Lara Croft swan dive off her balcony and think, "I bet those titties are magnificent"? Are you a perverted little furry with a nude anthropomorphized pony running circles around your head all day?
Living the Dream
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you should consider playing some porn video games. Unfortunately, Crash Bandicoot and Lara Croft aren't real. If you want to fuck them, porn video games are as close as you can get. But it's not such a bad thing. Video game tech is insane these days. You'll barely notice you're not actually balls deep in Crash Bandicoot's cooter or cloaca or whatever the fuck his genitals are.
It's not just video game characters that get the porn game treatment. Plenty of cartoons and anime get it, also. Nearly every one of my readers has a Sailor Moon fantasy. Porn adult games can make that foursome come to life. I bet they know how to handle a penis like champs. I'd let them tie me up and have their way with me.
However, as fun as parody video games are, I prefer the original shit. Adult game developers are creative motherfuckers. I don't want them to feel constrained by cannon. Instead, I want their creativity to blossom into new corners of debauchery.
If you don't believe me, check out My Sex Games. The developers here come up with all sorts of shit. If you can think of it, someone else also has. On the front page alone, I see Elf bondage, Naughty Santa, Furry beach clubs, and Sex gods. Those games alone could keep me entertained for some time.
Fifteen Hundred Options
My Sex Games is a well-built adult game site with an incredible selection of games that will have your penis squealing in delight. With fifteen thousand options to choose from, there is something for everyone.
The main menu resides up top and contains the options Home, New games, Top rated, Action, Adventure, Puzzle, Dress-up, and Cartoon. Down the right side of the site is a list of partner sites that includes your favorite porn review specialist.
My only complaint about the front page is the bright white background. I have to keep my retinas in tip-top shape. They're my money makers. It's like Usain Bolt's Meniscus. If I'm to be successful, I need that shit at one hundred percent. The same goes for my wrists and hands. I also stretch before wanking. You won't catch me at ninety, unable to stroke my hog.
Simple and Sweet
Let's check out some of the games on My Sex Games, starting with "Fuck Deneb." This shit is about as simple as sex games get. After attending a Halloween party hosted by work, your coworker Deneb is exceptionally horny.
Before you can do anything, She's rubbing your cock and flashing her tits. That leads quickly to a blow job. At that point, no is no longer in your vocabulary, so you gladly blow out her pussy and asshole. I hope this doesn't make things awkward at the job.
"Ellona Elf Bondage" is all about customization. The game allows you to build your perfect sex elf. You get to select everything from hair color to titty size. The art style is awesome. You'll have a blast creating bespoke pussy.
Once your sex elf is up and running, you can do whatever you want to the bitch. Fuck her left, right, up, and down. Did you give a bitch behemoth tits? You better tit fuck her, then. Does she have some junk in the trunk? Better cram your rod in her asshole, then.
"Hole House" is an instant classic. First off, I fucking love the title. I'm going to rename my crib to The Hole House. I've burst open more holes in my home than a prairie dog.
You play a realtor who put an old, run-down house up for sale. A mysterious person buys the place, but from what you can tell from the outside, they haven't done shit with it. However, once you step inside, you're sucked into the universe of the Hole House.
Pretty soon, you are hired on as a manager of the Hole House brothel. Your job is to build connections with the whores, recruit new bitches, and provide "training." Of course, said training is provided with the tip of your dick.
Wizard Dick
I have a feeling that "Book of Korvald" will capture many of my reader's imaginations. You play as a powerful wizard tasked with protecting a quiet village. However, you are kidnapped during an attack and returned to the enemy's dungeon.
You have to get back to the village before the evil hordes overrun it. However, the bad guys are strong. It will take all your power to defeat them. You must kill all the monsters, fuck all the ghosts, and take on the boss before safely returning to your home as a hero. Hopefully, you have some cum left for the maidens looking to reward your hard work.
I can't get through this article without discussing at least one parody. "Quantum Leap: The Porn" is a parody of, you guessed it, "Quantum leap." You play Sam Beckett, a scientist with a potent tool that helps him move through dimensions.
In the original TV show, Sam uses his abilities to save people, but in this game, he only uses them to fuck hot bitches. I feel like this game is a way more likely scenario. As much as men would like to think they'd play the heroic knight, in reality, they'd just crush pussy every day.
Could you imagine going back in time to fuck Marilyn Monroe or Queen Cleopatra? Those bitches would see me a couple of times a week. Every time I fucked a milf, I'd go back and fuck her nineteen-year-old self also for comparison. I expect to see marked improvement between the inexperienced teen and sex-worn milf.
While we're on the topic of parodies, one of the most popular games to pornify is Elder Scrolls. In "Elder Scrolls Parody," you play a hero looking for a bit of companionship in a whore house. After receiving your due blow job, you move back out into the forest to continue your journey.
That's when you run into a whore about to be killed by bandits. If you can successfully rescue the bitch, you will be handsomely rewarded with pussy. I wish more bitches were like this whore. If I open the door for a slut, I expect a blow job in return. It's called cock capitalism. Get with the program.
Bible Banger
I've never read the book of Genesis, but I have played "The Genesis Order." In it, you play as a powerful superhero tasked with defeating a classic evil villain. After achieving victory, you're rewarded with the pussy of the hottest maiden in the land.
Unfortunately, just as you nut, you awake to find it was all a dream. In reality, the bitch you fucked is your boss. She's not a big fan of yours, but if you play your cards right, she could be your boss with benefits. You won't have to work nearly as hard if you make the boss cum on her lunch breaks.
I don't believe in heaven, mostly because my life has been heaven on Earth. I don't need it to get any better. However, if the afterlife is like the one portrayed in "Adventures of Harem Master," I won't complain.
You've just been struck by lightning. Your life may be over, but it doesn't have to be over forever. You've arrived at a heavenly harem. If you can fuck all one hundred of the cunts here, you will be granted life anew.
However, pulling this off will require more than a tireless dick. You'll need to be suave and coordinated to complete your task and be sent back to earth.
I understand why you might want never to go back. Wouldn't it be better to stay and fuck ninety-nine of these bitches for all of eternity? No, it wouldn't. Trust me.
As fun as fucking ninety-nine bitches is, you'll get bored eventually and wish you could re-up on new cunts. However, the only way to do that is to live life again and die anew.
My Sex Games has fifteen hundred sex games that will have you stroking your wang for hours at a time. I hope you have a substantial lube supply.
My only complaint about the place is the bright background. Otherwise, the design is sharp and selection arousing.
I wish I were Sam Beckett traveling through time and space fucking every hot cunt throughout history. That's what I would call heaven. I guess for now, I'll just have to play the game and wait for death.
PORNDUDE LOVES
+fifteen hundred games
+Original titles and parodies
+Lack of popups
PORNDUDE HATES
-Shitty background
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