Newgrounds Adult Games

Sex and games have gone together for many years. However, this new age of adult video games blows everything else out of the water. Who needs sex dice when you could be fucking thick Spider woman?

Analog Adult Gaming

I bet before the advent of adult video games, you nerdy beta pussies were circle-jerking and playing sexual dungeons and dragons. I'm sure you ruled over the brothel with your level sixty-nine orc. How big did you make its penis, ten inches or ten feet? I bet you used shape-shifting magic to make it any size you wanted.

Is there a naughty version of Magic: The Gathering? There must be, and I'm sure you fucks are familiar with it. Who needs a Black Lotus when you can play a Black Cock card. Nothing can defeat the mighty black cock.

Speaking of sex dice, WarHammer 30K is just begging to be sexualized. The game has dozens of species. The orgies would be epic. Plus, the game uses figurines. I bet you could find some life-size figures with fake pussies you can fuck. That would certainly take your life to new levels of sadness.

Well, you guys don't have to play those games ever again. Instead, you can upgrade to porn video games like a fucking adult. Grow up, you fags.

If you've never played an adult game before, you're really missing out. Imagine porn you can control just like you were actually fucking. It brings a whole new level of realism to masturbation. You may never go back to traditional porn again.

Sure, there are choose-your-own-adventure-type pornos, but they don't feel as interactive. If you want maximum control over your masturbation, games are where it's at. The only question is where to find them.

A Gaming Legend

Those of a certain age will fondly recall the site New Grounds. It was a classic time waster that kept kids from paying attention in school or doing homework. It's half the reason I'm as retarded as I am.

I honestly didn't even know New Grounds was still a thing, but it is. And it's only been growing since I first visited as a young man. They've even expanded into adult gaming.

I wish they had porn back when I was in school! Actually, it's probably for the best they didn't. I would have graduated, unable to read and write. That means you fucks wouldn't have the Porn Dude to feed you the newest smut. How tragic would that be? Terribly so.

Nearly Perfect Design

New Grounds has been around for about twenty years. They've had plenty of time to design a top-notch product. You don't see many better-crafted websites, regardless of type. I love the animated background playing gifs of featured game characters. They get my dick going before I've selected a game. That's efficiency.

The main menu hangs out up towards the top. It contains the options Home, Search bar, Log in, Sign up, Movies, Games, Audio, Art, Portal, Community, and Your feed.

Down the left side is a navigational menu split into three sections: Browse categories, Adult games, and Latest additions. Some of the said latest additions are "Cyber Rift," "Neko Touch DX," and "Spunkstock: Music Festival."

Brothel Managment

With all of those details out of the way, let's explore the content selection on New Grounds. I'll begin with "Hentai Heroes." Not all heroes travel the world in search of adventure, treasure, and damsels in distress. Some prefer to stay in town and manage their brothel.

Such is the case with the main character in "Hentai Heroes." Those of my readers that aren't virgins are plenty familiar with brothels. It's the only way any of you beta fucks get to feel pussy on your shaft. Otherwise, your only hope is divine intervention.

Your harem is populated by some of the hottest cunts in town, and your rivals know it. You'll have to protect your business from those that would see it crumble. You'll also have to locate and train new talent. By "train," I mean fuck the unholy shit out of them. That's the only way dumb cunts learn.

You can even steal girls from competitors. However, the ladies won't be easy to convince. In order to break their loyalty, you'll have to provide them with the best dick they've ever had. Are you up to the task?

I love the animation style of "Hentai Heroes." The tits and pussies look awesome. I wish I could jump inside my screen and plow these gashes myself. Where is my virtual reality helmet?

Wizard Jizz

"Crimson Keep" is a classic RPG where you play a wizard on a journey to become one of the most powerful sorcerers the world has ever seen. It won't be easy. There are many challenges in your path, but if you stay focused, success is guaranteed.

One such challenge you'll face comes in the form of a sexy and horny sorceress. She, too, seeks to become the most powerful wizard and won't have you getting in her way. You'll have to pull out all the stops to defeat this fuckable master of magic.

Once you have her begging for mercy, you can whip out your enormous cock and provide her with the terms of surrender written in jizz. It's either death or she becomes your sex slave.

It's one thing to have a sex slave. It's a whole other thing to have a sex slave with magical powers. Can you imagine what that bitch is capable of? Does she know how to shrink her pussy? I bet she can make it so tight even the great Porn Dude would become a two-pump chump.

If you enjoy playing "Crimson Keep," you'll be happy to know that there are four sequels to enjoy. You eventually become a potent incubus luring sex women in with your gorgeous cock and balls. Women can't get enough. However, watch out for jealous motherfuckers who want to dull your shine. Don't let them take your girls. It's not like they could fuck them as well as you.

Paw Patrol Holes

I don't want to give too much away about "Space Paws." You can think of it like "The Paw Patrol," but in space and much hornier. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you perverted motherfuckers have already watched "Paw Patrol" porn.

You play a space captain who has just woken from a coma to discover he is neck-deep in a mystery. You must figure out what the fuck is going on while also trying to fuck your partner.

No matter how important the task I'm doing is, I always have time to fuck. It could be at my grandmother's funeral. She'd understand. Her body is just a husk. I'm trying to spend time with warm, living pussy.

I once had sex while trapped in an elevator. The firemen yelled down to hold still because the cables could snap at any minute. Do you think I cared about the prospect of plummeting to my death? Fuck no. I beat up that pussy without stopping once. I have the sex gods to thank for my continued existence. They must be impressed.

My Life

After having beat "Bimbo High," I can say for sure that it's based on the high school I graduated from. You play an eighteen-year-old in his last year of schooling. You live with your father, who just remarried to a fuckable whore that's constantly flashing you fuck me eyes.

Your new stepmom insists that you transfer to the school she teaches at. You reluctantly acquiesce but are pleasantly astonished once you arrive. All the teachers are fuckable milfs, and all the students are teenage sluts. There are more open legs in this bitch than in a hot yoga class.

It's no surprise that your studies fall to the wayside as you spend all your energy courting and banging every gash you can get your wang in. By the time you come home from a long day of intercourse, you barely have any jizz left for your stepmom.

This game really brings back memories. My senior year was full of school counselors, social studies teachers, and theater kids. The only reason I passed was that I fucked my way to the top. I was valedictorian without even attending class. That's how mighty my dick is. It's been that way since I was born.

New Grounds has been at the top of internet gaming since I was a young man. I'm glad to see they expanded into adult gaming. What better way to keep up with modern times?

My only issue with New Grounds is that they still have traditional games. Fuck playing solitaire. They should move into adult gaming full-time.

If you only fuck with the best, New Grounds has it for you, so drag your dick over today.

PORNDUDE LOVES

+Experienced site

+Exceptional design

+Lack of ads

PORNDUDE HATES

-Get the traditional vanilla games out of the way