Oh boy, here we go again. It’s time to talk about the grossest video game experience of my life. I’ve played actual murder simulators and while they weren’t exactly my thing, none of them really stuck with me as much as Evenicle. In a bad way, I mean. This game has a way of slipping under your skin and staying there like a mark of a sinful experience. There’s no way to wash it off. It’s on you forever and while others can’t see it, you know it’s there. It reminds you of the filth, the mistakes, the pitiful desires and indulgences of the past. That is Evenicle.

Welcome. This is a porn game review, I think.

A Religion for Pimps

Evenicle takes place in a universe that makes no sense. There’s a goddess and a realm. It’s all very medieval. The goddess decided long ago, that penis in vagina equals bad, unless you’re married. Also, men can have multiple wives and women can only have one husband. Hell of a goddess, am I right? She’s totes not a feminist. Very sad.

Oh well, it works out for you. You’re a dude and you want to get laid. You’re young, strong and ambitious. You want to become a knight. A royal protector of the realm. A soldier of sorts, but with extra privileges afforded to you. Knights have official permission to have multiple wives. Yes, average Joes have to contend with one woman, for life. Knights on the other hand, are awesome and cool. They bag and bang women like it’s going out of style.

Those Who Bear the Mark

You wanna know what happens to people who break the goddesses’ rules? You don’t wanna know what happens to people who break the goddesses’ rules. It’s bad. It’s really bad. First, the sinners get a mark on one of their fingers. A black ring that signifies that they are sinners. It stays there forever. You can’t take it off, no matter what you do. The sinners are then promptly banished from their homes and forced to live in the wilderness, as far from civilization as possible.

You see, those who bear the mark bring plagues. Crops do not grow, boners do not rise, the sun doesn’t shine and so much more in substantial miscellaneous bullshit. It’s a bad luck mark, plain and simple. Civilized society has to banish sinners, lest they end up causing everyone’s downfall. It’s sad, but they have no choice. Allow me to stress: If a woman gets raped, she is branded a sinner and her life is ruined thereafter by the goddess. She gets punished for being raped. This is the stupid ass weird ass creepy ass universe that Evenicle takes place in.

Rape and Cuteness

There’s a combination I didn’t think anyone ever needed. From what I’ve said so far you might assume that Evenicle is some sort of dark murder mystery with all kinds of depraved horror themes and a generally disturbing tone. Nope. It’s basically Dragon Quest. Seriously, check out some gameplay photos of Dragon Quest and you’ll see what I mean. Cute slime creatures, talking plants, little mushrooms and the like. It’s all one big adorable collection of child friendly cutesy little monsters that you farm for experience points. Along the way, you also improve your stature. You want to become the perfect knight. You want to progress to the point where you’re allowed to have the most babes at one time. Also…you want to go back home and fuck your sisters. I don’t know man, it’s a Japanese game, what do you want from me?

You go around the realm and defeat little cute monsters and along the way you talk to characters in the world in visual novel style. The gameplay pauses and you get a full screen preview of the conversation, kind of like a cutscene. Most of the ones I saw were non interactive, but there’s a lot of choice to be made as you play the game, for sure. Anyways, you interact with these randoms and occasionally run into gangbang rapes, here and there. You know, in-between all the adorable action. This game goes from zero to a hundred and back again with no warning. I think you have to be on serious drugs to feel untouched by this shit. That was a joke, not a recommendation. Do not do drugs.

Likeable Babes

Let’s take a moment to stop griping about my various traumas and talk about the babes in this game. I only managed to get around to marrying three of them, but there’s more to come in the rest of the game. I really don’t feel like playing through all of Evenicle, I’m sorry. The game is so ridiculously long that it’s not worth getting through it all for one review. However, it does make for an upside towards my actual review of it – I think it’s worth playing. It’s a premium game that costs $40 and comes with hours upon hours of quality gameplay. The characters are also fully voiced and they’re decently animated during the visual novel scenes, so it never feels like you’re reading a book. Yes, the voices are in Japanese, but you get subtitles. Fuck it.

The babes are voiced, hot, interesting and come with a ton of backstory that doesn’t bore me to death. They say sensible things. They fight just as well as you do and they’re damn helpful in combat. They also do cool shit during the visual novel scenes. I really felt like I could befriend these bitches – and by that I mean I want to stick my cock in all of their asses. This game features top tier sex scenes, for real. There’s a mix between consensual high quality sex and fucked up monster rape vore, with some regular lesbian action thrown in for the hell of it. I think it’s a decent fap. Oh, by the way, lesbian sex isn’t a sin in this game. Only the penis in vagina shit counts.

Getting Hitched and Generally Winning at Life

Your main character goes through a hell of an arc in this game. He starts off as a cocky bastard with aspirations of greatness and a strong passion for his sisters’ pussies and he ends up a cocky bastard with several hot wives that crave his cock. He’s truly a force to be reckoned with. I really like how most of the babes warm up to him when they realize he’s not a rapist. This game sets the bar really low. I mean, I get that some women have low standards at all but not being a rapist is hardly something you boast about on a resume. Imagine picking up a chick at a bar by telling her you won’t murder her. That’s the level of derangement we’re dealing with.

But, the main character coasts along by saying generally normal things like how he doesn’t rape and how women are pretty great. It lands him all kinds of bitches and treasures. The real challenge to the game lies in how much time it takes to do everything right. You have to spend hours upon hours farming and pushing through the story if you want to do it right. I might have neglected to mention this but… Evenicle is a proper RPG.

Role Playing as a …Non Rapist Sister Lover

 Seriously, how is this the fucking character arc? Why does hentai culture obsess so much about this super submissive man on woman dynamic where women are essentially treated like pets, but they keep acting like they’re children. It’s really disturbing shit. I mean, don’t get me wrong. If I see two hot lesbians licking each other out, I’m going to fap. That’s just second nature to me at this point. But, if I’m going to get invested in a game like this I want to know that my character is at least somewhat relatable. I found him to be a bit cringe at times, but hey, he gets the job done in the end. He… has a cock, so, I can work with that.

Ultimately, I can’t complain about a guy who quite literally follows every rule, norm and moral expectations set upon him by society. It’s not his fault that sister fucking is all the rage. It’s also not his fault that the entire goddamn world is essentially enslaved by a malevolent bitch goddess. I am not going to spoil the main story for you, aside from the wife fucking I mean. In case you decide to play this game, there is in fact a worthwhile adventure down the line. But, the overall distribution of weird shit and RPG elements makes me lukewarm at best. I advise that you check out gameplay videos of Evenicle on a porn tube – there are a lot of them. It’s the best way to get a sense of things.

HentaiGames Likes Evenicle’s:

-         Great graphics

-         Long playtime

-         Excellent sex scenes

HentaiGames Dislikes Evenicle’s:

-         Rape vore

-         Disgusting shit

-         Grinding mobs