AEBN Anime

Hey, listen. Don’t get me wrong. Real flesh and blood bitches are awesome. I love seeing them nude, getting plowed by humongous wangs. But ladies have a built-in fault that can't be repaired. Their flesh is weak. Their brittle bones can only support so much weight before they are pulverized under the grip of gravity.

Titties Trauma

This puts a hard limit on how enormous knockers or bum cheeks can be before the bitch they're connected to can’t go on living. I want to see a massive set of swollen mama milkers as much as the next guy, but not if they are swinging off the torso of some paralyzed cunt.

On second thought, my readers should look into fucking handicapped bitches. They are desperate for the attention of a cock. It doesn't even need to be a good one. Life sucks for them anyway, so the cock they reel in might as well follow suit. They won't have anything to compare it to. Even if they did notice your Jimmy Johnson's pathetic state, what would they do about it?

How much would it suck if you were fucking some virgin cunt with no arms or legs, but she still tells you to stop? Being turned down by a nugget is as bad as it gets. You might as well chop off your twig and berries after that. On third thought, maybe you shouldn't bone these handicapped bitches after all. All my fans will cut their wangs off, bleed out, and I’ll have no readers left.

Instead of the infirmed, why not try fapping your manhood to hentai instead? Hentai has all the outrageous bodily ratios you desire but only includes the handicapped if you want it to. There is nothing in actual life that compares to ladies in hentai.

 Some of these bitches tits make up seventy-five percent of their total mass. If You put those giant tatas on Mia Khalifa, her spine would condense down to the size of a click pen spring. She would become a puddle of tits and nipples slowly sinking into the ground underneath her. Anime bitches are walking titty sinkholes.

Titty Science

Could you imagine watching one of these cunts breastfeed? The hydrodynamic forces the milk would be experiencing are similar to the forces contained in the core of a collapsing star. A quark-gluon plasma is produced as the weak and strong nuclear forces fail to maintain cohesion between subatomic particles. When it fires out of the nipple hole, it's like a fucking gamma-ray burst. Not only will it drill a hole in a baby's skull like a laser cutter. It will accelerate to escape velocity and begin a trip to a nearby star.

That cunts tits would be like an anatomical artillery gun working at relativistic speeds. Depending on your vicinity to the line of fire, your interpretation of the space-time continuum will vastly differ from your regular day-to-day experience. Depending on the osmotic rigidity of space-time in that patch of universe, a rift in subspace may form. Unless you want to travel through a wormhole to places unknown, you better keep your distance.

There is one good thing to come out of this physics quandary. Breast milk filtered through the fabric of the space-time continuum tastes amazing. It has all the vitamins and minerals a growing human needs. But, of course, that doesn't do a baby any good. That's because no matter how nutritious breast milk is, when consumed at ninety percent of the speed of light, it will disintegrate your body along with any nearby objects.

On the other hand, you don’t have to be concerned about turning your little corner of the galaxy into a black hole with titty milk when you watch hentai. All you have to worry about is not soaking your roommates' duvet in jizz wads. That's why I live alone.

There is no shortage of places to get your hentai porn fix on the internet. Not only do tons of specialized porn sites exist for it, but all the major tube sites like Porn Hub carry anime, also. Unfortunately, that means there is no lack of shitty hentai sites also. No one wants to fuck around with a piece of shit website while they have a throbbing rod in their mitts. That's why I recommend all of my fans peep Straight Aebn.

Straight Aebn has a traditional tube site design that looks like Pornhub circa ten years ago. It has a white and sky blue color layout, but for the sake of my retinas, I wish it were more blue than white. In the end, it doesn't matter because they have a day and night setting. The main menu hangs out up top and includes the options Search bar, Add time, Log in, Sign up, Mail, Categories, Just added, New Releases, Stars, Studios, Cams, Gay, Classic view, X pass, Light and dark mode toggle, and favorite.

VOD Bods

Aebn is a video-on-demand service, so you'll need to pull your wallet out to lay eyes on some tight hentai gash, and I know you do. Straight Aebn also has a premium monthly membership that gives you access to various bonus features. The cost is only $14.99 a month, and it's well worth it.

The first thing your fifteen bucks gives you access to is the unlimited streaming of the entire Straight Aebn library. I'm talking about thousands of titles and tens of thousands of scenes at your fingertip for less than the price of a cheese pizza. That should be enough to keep you and your penis busy for the foreseeable future.

Every week, Aebn adds another one hundred movies to their archive. Unless you have as much free time as I do, that should be enough to keep you drowning in fresh pussy until the day drop of a masturbation-induced heart attack.

But wait. There's more. You'll get thirty minutes of video-on-demand credits to use on anything you like every month. Moreover, minutes never expire, so you can build them up for an end-of-the-year cum blow-out if you wish.

You also get a five percent discount on all purchases. That includes additional video-on-demand minutes, scene and movie downloads, and stream-for-life purchases.

Hold on. Believe it or not, these motherfuckers aren't done quite yet. Straight Aebn will send you special offers and promos exclusive to X-pass subscribers. Finally, you can quickly stop or renew your subscription anytime in the account settings.

Down the center of the site are content thumbnails split into five categories: Lastest anime movies, Trending anime scenes, Most watched anime movies, Recommended anime scenes, and Recommended anime movies.

The Gash Lineup

Let's check out some of the content in the Straight Aebn library. After all this talk about anime titties, I would be remiss not to begin content reviews with the film, "Anime Titties." Not every porn needs a creative title.

I bet you stupid motherfuckers can guess what's happening in this movie. Bitches show off their tits, getting licked, sucked, squeezed, and slapped before getting their pussies hammered like their clit is a nail sticking up.

If you've ever lived with roommates that aren't your parents, then the title of this next film should be familiar: "House of Virgins." Any time you walk into a building, it automatically becomes a house of virgins. It's like a chemical process that can't be stopped.

The young whores in "House of Virgins" have been waiting their whole lives to get fucked. Their holes are desperate for that first load of cum to be dumped against their cervix. There is nothing better in this universe than a tight virgin puss.

I know what you disgusting bastards are thinking right now. You're wondering if there is incest porn on Straight Aebn. Of course, there fucking is. Would it be a hentai site without it?

For example, we have "Family Taboo." Is incest even taboo anymore? It seems like all of you pathetic motherfuckers want to be a mother fucker these days. It makes me want to burn the world down and start all over again from single-celled organisms.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't have any more readers if I did that. I couldn't imagine a life doing anything else but watching porn for a living.

Straight Aebn is one of the best-paid premium porn sites in the world. They offer so many ways to get your hands on content. No matter your financial situation, you'll find a way to afford the hentai here.

My only complaint regards the video quality. Some of the content here has as low a pixel density as 480p. I'm sorry, but I can't watch 480p porn anymore. I can't even watch 720p porn anymore. Who am I, a fucking caveman?

It's time to set you fuckers free in one of my favorite porn sites ever. Please do enjoy.

PORNDUDE LOVES

+Multiple ways to purchase

+Rentals available

+Great prices

PORNDUDE HATES

-Some content has low video quality